


An Inalienable Right

by cerie



Category: Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: Gen, banter!, ichabod vs the 21st century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 08:16:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerie/pseuds/cerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The idea that someone would actually <i>pay</i> for water when it flowed free into every home and in every stream and river and lake in Sleepy Hollow was absolutely unthinkable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Inalienable Right

**Author's Note:**

> A little mid-episode piece for 1x07 "The Midnight Ride." Slight spoilers.

The idea that someone would actually _pay_ for water when it flowed free into every home and in every stream and river and lake in Sleepy Hollow was absolutely unthinkable. Ichabod did not see what the concern was with drinking the water from the tap. He had not fallen ill, after all, and he had spent much of the war drinking from whatever water source was readily available and his only precaution had been ensuring he was upstream from whatever they were using as a latrine.

But apparently, in 2013, things had changed and even the water that flowed over the surface of the earth could be poisoned. He wasn’t entirely sure how much stock he put into that but Lieutenant Mills certainly seemed concerned, if the way she wrinkled her nose and lectured was any indication. No matter. He would not spend his coin on _water_ unless he absolutely had to in order to survive and even then, he would part with it unwillingly.

They were currently on the search for clues within a manuscript of great import and while his mind was absolutely focused upon their task and its greater significance to their quest, Ichabod could find time to plan a bit of an experiment. He had tasted this Pine Springs water of the lieutenant’s and found no difference in taste than that he drank for free. If he could not tell the difference with his palate unassaulted by the modern propensity to overseason everything he could not imagine that Lieutenant Mills could.

The next time she left her bottle unattended, he seized his opportunity and poured out the remains of the purchased water and refilled the bottle with that he got from the tap, just like his own. If she could tell the difference, he would offer his sincere apologies but it was his hypothesis that she wouldn’t be able to; any difference in taste was so subtle that it would take a preternatural tongue to tell one from the other. 

When Lieutenant Mills settled back in her chair and drank her water without visible indication she’d tasted the difference, Ichabod could barely resist letting the details of his deceit be known. He’d always been terrible at keeping a composed expression when telling a lie, unless it was a matter of life and death, and made it a point to be honest in his dealings. Honestly usually brought a man further in life than dishonesty, even if the latter often made things smoother at first. This lie, though, seemed not to be one that would bring anyone to harm and, if anything, only cemented the fact that he was right in the matter of the water. Perhaps Lieutenant Mills could be brought to rights and they could rail against this injustice - after the larger matter were dealt with, of course. 

“What are you looking at?” she asked, one brow arching slightly. Her eyes were quick and missed nothing. There was very little that got past Lieutenant Mills on a regular basis and Ichabod could very easily see why she was a police detective and in the employ of the city of Sleepy Hollow. She had a mind that was quick to piece together clues even if she did not possess his own esoteric sort of intellect. She knew how to read people, not as one studies a bug or the way he himself pieced together cues in body language and manner but knew how to see people and see their motivations, understand how a person could make a poor decision but still be good at heart. It was an admirable quality. 

“Nothing, Lieutenant Mills. I merely wondered at the quality of your water? You seem insistent upon drinking that which you pay exorbitant amounts for and while you could refill that bottle from any number of fountains or taps, as you call them, you purchase a new bottle each time. I have never seen such excess and waste until this century and I think there are other things one could spend his money upon, that is all. Then, I thought, Lieutenant Mills is a pragmatic woman. Surely she would only purchase water if it were absolutely necessary. Am I correct in this assessment? Would you only drink purchased water if it tasted different than that you could acquire free of charge?”

Lieutenant Mills gave him a dark look, wary, and squinted a bit at her bottle of water as if she could somehow divine how he’d adulterated it. He had a moment of remorse, of thinking perhaps he’d gone too far but then again, he gave her nothing he had not already drunk himself in copious quantities. Other than coffee and tea upon occasion, water was his preferred drink in this era. He had tried the sugary concoction called soda and spat it out; the things in this day and age seemed too _much_ for him and he had simpler tastes.

“What the hell did you put in my water, Crane? I’m going to remind you that I’m armed and not afraid to use my gun if the situation calls for it.” Ichabod smirked a bit but it was less self-assured than it had been a moment ago. He hoped she wouldn’t be terribly angry when he revealed his trick and could, at least, see some of the humor in it. It really was quite stupid that the people of Sleepy Hollow seemed to think that they should have to pay for something that could be obtained on the cheap.

“I merely poured out your purchased water and replaced it with that from the tap, just as I am drinking. I thought surely a pragmatic and frugal woman such as yourself would only buy water if absolutely necessary. If the water were dangerous to drink, I would have already fallen ill as I drink at least three times the amount you do during a day and so I surmised that clearly your preference was one of taste. Having tasted both yours and my own, I found no discernible difference and so I conducted a blind study. It seems you have been unable to tell the difference either, which brings me back around to my original point. _Why_ are you paying for something you can get for free?”

Lieutenant Mills opened her mouth, eyes dark with anger, then promptly closed it. She pushed away from the table they shared and crossed over to him, still with blazing anger painted across her fine features. Ichabod thought she looked beautiful if a bit fierce and made to say so when two things happened. First, she closed the lid of the computer he had been using (laptop, she’d called it) and then dumped half contents of her bottle over his head. Water streamed down his hair and into his eyes and when he looked up, he could see that her anger had melted into laughter - the corners of her eyes crinkled a bit, her mouth curved into a smile. 

“Crane? Word to the wise, don’t _ever_ touch my drink again. You will not like what happens next time.”

He grinned back at her and pushed his sopping hair out of his eyes. “No, I shall not, provided you admit that I was right in this particular matter and you have been led astray.”

Her response was merely to tip the rest of the bottle over his head, soaking him yet again.


End file.
